In the Mind of a Fish

For the most part, I don't simply do whatever anyone tells me to do. I don't even necessarily believe everything that those who are supposed to know say I should believe. I don't know if that is just a quirk of my own, or if it is what everyone does.

When I go to the doctor, and I find that I have some disease that is incurable and could, ultimately, result in my early demise, I may not believe it right at first. Even if I believe that I have the disease, I may not believe that it is all that serious or that it is incurable. But, if the doctor describes ways that I can stave off the attack, I may decide to do those things in order to avoid the end I would rather not participate in.

I may eventually believe that the disease and the effects of the disease are real and cannot be avoided. But, until then, I may attempt to do things that others say I should do in order to recover from it. I will believe and try these things because I have no choice other than to ignore the warnings and advice. After I have found that those things don't really help, then I may give in to believing that it is as bad as reported and that the solutions are provided through those who know more of the disease.

If I have enough money or have insurance to cover the expense of the medications or procedures that will result in slowing down the disease, then I will spend the money and claim the insurance in order to avoid unwanted pain. But, if I don't have money or another way of acquiring the medical relief, then I will know that I have God to rely on. In relying on God, I may be trusting that he will heal me, or that he will supply the needed medical resources to help me or that, even if I suffer and die, He is going to help me endure and move through with the path I am on.

Even if the very first thing that I thought of was to ask God for help and healing when I first heard the news, if the healing wasn't immediate and obvious, the other steps would still be taken until I came down to no other help but God. I may have asked Him to make the doctors wrong, or to heal me of whatever it is at first. But, eventually, while continuing to ask for the healing, my faith and dependency on him will show up when I have no other options at my disposal.

There is faith all through this scenario. There is faith that God may make the doctors wrong, or that He heal me. There is faith that he has provided means not know by the doctors to give me healing. There is faith that He will provide relief to me through medical procedures and, finally, there is faith that He will personally give me relief and help during my ordeal. All of these things are a trust that I put in him to accomplish things that I have hoped for.